I'm betting that you won't pretend to be others as good as myself.
Have you ever imagine : Pretending all the times, living the days and nights while trying to be someone you're not ? Living the bullshits and craps all the times ? Mungkin kamu pernah ngerasain hal yang sama. Sebuah kehidupan palsu dimana ga ada "heart belonging" sama sekali.
Gairah kehidupan yang dulu menggebu pun sekarang kaya ngejalanin sesuatu tanpa nafsu & semangat. Nilai positifnya : hidup tanpa beban.
Kalo anak-anak gaul jaman sekarang mungkin nyebut orang-orang kesepian yang selalu "pretending to be someone you're not" itu Lonesome Level-nya Infinity. Bener juga, I felt that kind of feeling when I do pretending.
Everyone just disappeared, you have no place to bring your soul to go to, you have no one to share your pain again or something like that. Lonely akut pokoknya. Jadi, jalan satu-satunya ya itu tadi : Pretending.
Palsu demi kesenangan orang lain..
Kamu naruh harapan besar ke beberapa orang dengan beberapa tujuan berbeda, kaya yang namanya jatuh cinta di pandangan pertama, yahud di awal tapi makin kesini makin iuh. I'm not that perfectionist, believe me. Cuma, ada kalanya kamu bakal jenuh terhadap orang-orang yang ga naruh respek dan cuma ada di kala butuh kamu. What you did : faking things in the first time to get near them, once you've got them, suddenly you knew they didn't respect you at all but you would keep pretending. They did the same things to others kok, that's called "humanity".
Cuma ada satu cara buat enjoy, keep pretending and forget what they did to you, keep faking things, keep doing something that you don't like. Then realize, one day you'll be lost yourself, because now I'm getting tired of losing myself.
Listening to : Jenny Elliasson - Knives in a Cotton Eye
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